Month: November 2018

There does finally come a time where you find yourself just tired….

Tired of waiting….

Tired of hoping…

Tired of second chances…

Tired of broken promises…

Tired of the games…..

Tired of excuses…

Tired of lame stories….

Tired of predictable behaviors…

You finally just get tired….

Of…. well….

Being…. Tired!

Then you STOP….

Accepting the poor behavior!

#truth #feedmysoul #faith #love #emptyyourmind #findingmyjoy #jenz #jenzphelps #findingmybliss #healthycopingskills #artistherapeutic #arttherapy #deepbreathing #meditativedrawing #healing #lettinggo #healthyboundaries

So life has a way of humbling you. Last night Summer has a bad headache. She was in so much pain she broke down finally asked to go to the hospital. I had only been home for an hour. She hadn’t taken her meds, she just broke down. I lost it… panicking flashing back to all those nights being at UVA. Them really doing nothing for her. Ughh… she has been going soo well… Headaches are increasing this year however, but have still been manageable.

I gave her her meds, ice pack, tried to calm her down. I could tell the pain had started to take a toll on her and she had started to panic. That had increased the pain. Checked back in on her by 11pm she had settled down fallen asleep.

We have been dealing with this since she was 2 years old. I watch her… go through these episodes of pain and instability… then she gets stable, adjusting back to life then out of nowhere…. it’s like having the rug pulled from underneath you. Making you fall to the ground turning the room upside down.

I am getting better at breathing my way through those moments…. but they do not get easier to be honest. Truth be told … there is nothing more gut wrenching then watching your child double over in pain unable to help…
It’s the most helpless feeling in the world.

#lovehersoomuch❤ #findingmyway #migraines #clustermigraines #amv #seizures #migrainestenosis #intervellumcyst #mydaughterstrongestpersoniknow #faith

I really don’t understand what the purpose of falling in love is….

Why open yourself up to see heartache?

Why allow yourself to become so vulnerable?

Why put so much trust into one person?

It never seems to last for anyone….

So why invest the time?

Why invest the emotions?

Why invest the energy?

Why bother?

I don’t think….

Anyone should put that much faith…

Trust…..

Hope….

Love….

Into…..

Any…

One….

Person!

I don’t think…..

I willl….

Ever……

Again!

It simply….

Costs…. too deep a price…..

A price my soul….

Simply… cannot pay!

Me!

#never #neveragain #pricetoohigh #broken #piecesofme #findingmyselfagain

Not everyone is vested in seeing you reach your happiness.

Many, secretly want to see you stay in your corner where they are comfortable with you always being.

Because when you. Are there…

You are always available for them!

These are the same people that call to say hello , how are you? Then proceed to tell you all about their life & their problems. Because to hear about your life makes them uneasy…

Truth is…

They can’t handle your life!

They can’t handle knowing your hurting,

That your in pain,

That you are vulnerable…

Because they depend on you!

They can’t handle the idea…

The thought…

The Image that… you might be human.. too!

I am working on finding my way…

Inspite… of the needs & demands of those around me!

#livingmybestlife #embraceyourself #findingmybliss #mypeaceofmind #feedmysoul #faith #love #emptyyourmind #findingmyjoy #selfcare #mindfulness

It just took me realizing…

You really are…

The company you choose to keep!

Every bit the character…

Every bit the flaws….

&

Realizing…

It’s all beneath where I intend to be in life!

#lifegoals #motivated #nevergoingtoletyoubringmedown