Month: July 2019

Aren’t you tired?

Haven’t you had enough?

Haven’t you wasted enough time and lost enough life moments to this drug?

To this addiction? To this disease?!

Hasn’t your past… haunted you enough…?

When… will you finally allow yourself to sleep?

When will you realize…

This isn’t for you?

That there is a better way,

To deal with the hurt, pain, stress and trauma from your past?

Haven’t you suffered enough?

I see you hurting….

I see you in pain…

I see you trying to numb yourself from feeling anything!

What will it take?

A cold steel cell?

To be locked away?

To have all freedom removed?

Will it be simply by your own hands?

One quick pull of that trigger?

Or will you finally take one last hit…. that finally does you in?…

Tell me…..

When does this madness stop?!!!

I need you to wake up!!!

Before it’s too late…..

Tic, Toc….

Tic, Toc….

Your time, is running out!

You don’t have all these hours and minutes your percieve yourself to own!

Time…. is a true thief!

He slips in & out… without being noticed…

Before you realize it… those precious moments, years, days, hours, minutes, seconds…. they’ll are gone!

How many more of these will you just throw away?

How many more people do you think you can push out of your life?

Look around you….

Who do you see?…

Who is knocking on your door?!

Who is reaching out to you?

Who is worried if you’re ok?….

I see you shaking…. tired…. weary…

I see you…. drained….

Mentally…..

Emotionally…..

I see you…. torn…

Your brain so clouded you don’t know which way to think!

You don’t even know who to trust anymore!

So twisted in your own drug induced reality….

You can’t see what’s truly…

Right here in front of you!

Your new Mistress…

She’s Deadly!

Ice runs through her veins……

Soon…. she will consume you!

And I….

Will no longer recognize…. you!

Aren’t you tired?!

Haven’t you had enough?!

#truth #truthbetold💯 #addictionrecovery #mentalhealthawarenes #addictionisadisease #mentalhealthrecovery #fightstigma #addictionawareness #communitycollaboration #vacpn #CVARR #aart #awareness #talkaboutit #mentalhealth #addiction #sfami #horizonbh #bedford #appomattox #amherst #ourlynchburg #jenzphelps #jenz #feedmysoul #emptyyourmind #thestruggleisreal #love #hope #faith #alanon #narcnon #phototherapy #stopthestigma #treatmentworks

Funny…. How we change with time! How we evolve, our interests, wants, life goals, dreams, styles: the things we value most; start to fall into their proper place in life!
*Faith, *Family, *Community how we care for ourselves, our loved ones, and our neighbors all start to tie in together. How you start to see the vital importance of building each other up! How you start to realize the duty of community. How you feel the weight of burden or guilt or obligation at times calling to you when you see or feel a loved one, or friend, or community member falling….
*It Takes A Village* …. We do not grow or evolve or succeed or love in life ALONE!
As humans…. we innately, must have help! We were created & designed for partnerships and sense of community social structure to exist together.
Ego, Pride, Stubborn Will….. they can at times be fuel to propel us forward when kept in prospective!
But they are also the same tools that WILL destroy us, when we fail to humble ourselves to ask for HELP!
So ask yourself…..
What are your Life goals?
Are you meeting them?
Do you need to swallow your Ego, Pride, Stubborn Will?…. to help you meet those goals?
Maybe….
You just needed to step back…
To see that the road block to your success:
Was the very WALL… YOU built!
The help you been wanting, the goals you been trying to reach, have been waiting for you on the other said of that WALL you built…
All along!
Funny thing about *It Takes A Village*
The Village….. also: needs YOU!

A Village is only as strong and good and thriving as it’s weakest or most hurting members…. ! That the funny thing about humans, family, community….! We NEED each other!

#lifegoals #emptyyourmind #embraceyourself #feedmysoul #truth #faith #love #hope #nami #sfami #alanon #addictionrecovery #mentalhealthawarenes #addictionisadisease #mentalhealth #recovery #supportgroups #ourlynchburg #horizonbh #bedford #appomattox #aart #CVARR #amherst #jenz #jenzphelps #findingmybliss #ittakesavillage #stopthestigma #vacpn

#rmdrake #rmdrakequotes #truth #feedmysoul #truthbetold💯 #love #hope #faith #lovehurtssometimes

I feel I am at war…

At War with myself….

My Emotions…

My feelings… over, you! Your addiction, your circumstances…… your behaviours….. how I respond to you!…US!

Life!

I am just mixed with emotions….

I go from trying to be patient and understanding….

To simply, mad & angry with you!

So pissed at you!

For this disease!

For how you are allowing it to take over your life!

How you deny help offered!

How you push away the people trying to help you!

How you seek shelter and hide behind people that enable you and employ your behavior!

I am so mad! Pissed! Angry! At you….

At those around you!!!

That keep you stuck in this prison you are building for yourself!

I could scream!!!@#!

I keep trying to break through to you!

I keep trying to reach inside…

To the man I know!

The man I love & adore!

But……

You… drift …

Further, & further away….

You keep letting drugs, & toxic people poison your brain!

I fear….

Before long….

The boy i once knew….

The man…. i love & adore….

Will no longer be there….

He will cease to exist!

Become a ghost of himself….

I fear….

It has already,

Begun!

That turns my anger into sorrow & sadness!

Because I know what life you could have!

I know what you are capable of…

I know the man inside the ghostly shell!

You see…

He has the heart & soul of the boy….

I first loved!

I know…

The good that lines his heart….

I know his true character…

I know him…

As sure as I breathe!

I keep praying…..

He finds his way back to himself…

That he breaks free…

From the bonds of his addiction…

From the chains holding him down surrounded by toxic people!

And finds his way back to me!

#truth #faith #love #hope #nami http://www.sfami.net #sfami #alanon #feedmysoul #truthbetold💯 #addictionrecovery #mentalhealthawarenes #mindfulness #healthycopingskills #selfcare #emptyyourmind #findingmyjoy #thestruggleisreal #sfami #stopthestigma #addictionawareness #mentalillness #addiction #phototherapy #jenzphelps #jenz

I have been to meetings over the years in various forms for school; for work; I have ran groups; held family support groups…. But. Recently these have been to help me!
Tonight, I swallowed my pride… and took my first step in overcoming my need to fix everything in everyone’s life I love! … It isn’t easy… especially being a nurse! It’s in your nature to heal! To help! It seems unnatural… to do anything less!
To love someone and not be able to let go of the constant worry. Is also something to do with my need to control things, wanting to be the nurturer, caregiver… when maybe… I should just be a friend…. I don’t have all the answers…. but… I am seeking help! & trying to learn how to cope!!!
That has to be a start!

Love doesn’t fade… pain & hurt do…. wounds, heal… when we allow them to!

#lifegoals #dowork #gettingitdone #milestones #healthycopingskills #selfcare #emptyyourmind #findingmyjoy #thestruggleisreal #embraceyourself #findingmybliss #livingmybestlife #overlookingmyflaws #lettinggoofthepast #followingmymoralcompass #recovery #addictionrecovery #mentalhealthawarenes #mindfulness #sfami #alanon #feedmysoul #truth #faith #love #hope #nami #jenz #jenzphelps