I wrapped up my first day working from home today. It is definitely a new world of online counseling!
As I navigate my way into this new area of life I cannot help but reflect on my own current state of life. Just an odd transition I find myself in!
My life has never been a traditional one by any means! Not that I ever wanted such… I have always walked to a different drum in life and I knew this. I have always chosen the harder path and I have accepted this! My burden, my cross to bare….
I always told myself… know the consequences, be ready to accept the outcome. I figured, if I could accept the worse possibility imagined, than I could handle the risk! Sounds foolish… but there has always been something inside of me that has always wondered… *what if* and always scared to *settle * for anything less than, what my heart truly seeks in life!
There are pros and cons to this you see…. pros being that, you are always evolving and growing pushing yourself to be your best self! Cons being: you never truly allow yourself to be comfortable with something long enough to know if it is truly something that you identify with! (At times) you can get so caught up in evolving and changing that you truly forget the most important part of life…
L.I.V.I.N.G…. or L.I.VI.N! (In the voice of Mathew McConaughey! )
Actually being present in the world around you!
I have worked hard to be self aware to know myself and who I am as a woman, as a mother, as a person of the world, as a nurse, a co-worker, counselor, as a daughter, sister, friend! Ect…..
I have given this thought…. how each role and title changes your identity and impacts and shapes our character and defines us as human beings.
I know my moral compass and my values and integrity! They are strong and a deep rooted part of who I am…
I sit back and look at life and reflect on my personal struggles and journey in this world. I weigh out my failures and how they have become the stepping stones to my successes. And I seek out the lessons in my flaws and short comings and I srarch for the humility, grace and understanding from the world….
I dare not overlook others because I know just how quickly one can fall and I know just how long one struggles…
I find as I age the less I actually know about life… The more humbling I become.
I can see through false pretense as easily as I look through a window glass… Yet; I still hope for the good in someone’s soul!
I want to believe, they are better than what they show me… I want them to see the good inside themselves, I can see!!!
Life is ever changing…. ever evolving!
Sometimes…. however; I just want the world to stop! Long enough…. For that someone…. to truly see me!
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