I am mad!
I am angry!
Mad at you, for choosing this life, refusing to accept help when offered, denying you have a problem!
I am angry at all the people in your life, that have turned a blind eye to keep their place, that use you, that enable you, that support you, that drag you down this road again!
I am mad & angry at myself! For not being able to reach you, not able to help you, not able to break through to you…
I hate every single part of this! I hate how I feel, I hate more what this is doing to you!
You want me to turn a blind eye, to smile, pretend I dont see you. You want me to make light conversations and pretend?….
I pray…
I pray so many times…
I pray more each day for you than myself!
I am mad!
I am angry!
I am hurting….
I can’t reason with my mind why, why God would bring you back into my life; to just watch you fall….
Why would God put the burden so heavy on my heart, to reach out to you?
Why don’t you hear him calling to you?
I am angry!
So angry at everyone that is using with you!
So angry at you!!!
I am mad & angry….
Because I love you!
To watch you fall, struggle, pretend, & refuse help! Well it’s killing me!
I know this disease!
I know it oh so well…
I watch it rob, cheat, steal the very life from people every single day!
You feel ashamed?
Guilty?
Broken?
Join the club!
There is not one person in this world that doesn’t feel these things in life!
They don’t define you!
They don’t rule you!
They dont command you!
Soo, lift your head up high!
Stop giving it, power over you…
Acknowledge the past…
But STOP being stuck!
Stop lying to yourself!
Look inside you….
You have the power to overcome!
You hold the key to fighting your demons!
You have everything inside you that you will ever need to succeed.
You have me here… waiting to guide you… link you… listen to you…
But you, YOU… have to want it!
You must be the one; that takes the first step…. You have to be ready to walk away, to heal, to embrace the pain and hurt.
I am mad…..
I am angry…
But I also see the person behind the disease! This doesn’t have to be your life!
#addiction #recovery #awareness #mindfulness #lettinggo #givingittogod
#faith #hope
#mentalhealthawareness #addictionawareness #sfami #nami
jenzphelps 