I need to paint today. I need to gather my thoughts. So many stories, so many lies. There are pieces of truth floating around; like suspended matter, just waiting for place to land.
It’s hard, because there are pieces of you so wrapped around multiple aspects of my life! Even though I find myself drowning in the storm; I clearly know and vividly remember how, it was you… that once rescued me!
I have carried you around with me over the years. My peace of mind… My blanket of trust. My one true confidant! I have always been safe in the protection of your love, your respect, your genuine friendship! You’ve always just been a piece of my heart…
To watch you transform, change; right before my eyes, it’s painful, hurtful, it makes me want to reach out to you even more! To lift you up, bandage your wounds, nourish your mind, heal your spirit! Bring you back to the man, the boy…. I once knew!
Every breathe I take, every emotion I have, every prayer I make…. is calling to God; asking, pleading, begging, directing me…. To break through to you!
I need you!
I need you to look up!
Look around…. find that glimmering piece of you.
The light sparkle, that flickers… on & off… The mere glimmer of hope that shines just bright enough, just discreetly enough; to call all those lost, broken, wayward souls to you….
The light that sparkles from inside you!
I need you to stop… no, listen… STOP!
Reliving the past….
Blaming yourself for things beyond your control.
For dissatisfaction of life situations.
For past, present, & future failures!
For relationships lost….
For missed opportunities!
For any excuse… that keeps you; hidden & bound to live this life!
I NEED you!!!
Present & here with me…
In this life, this moment, this second!
I NEED you to love yourself….
To feel pride,
To feel a sense of purpose,
To feel a sense of self worth!
I don’t care…
I don’t care about your transgressions!
I care about your future…!
I care if you are safe!
I care if you are loved!
I care if you are healthy!
I care if you are whole!
I care … if you are a son of God!
I know you’re in there…
I know you’re hurt…
I know your hurting…
I know your struggling!
I know you feel judged…
I know you feel ashamed!
I know you feel unworthy…
If you would only see yourself, how I see you!
How God sees you!!!
You would never doubt…
You wouldn’t question..
You wouldn’t search for reasons beyond your control!
You would know….
Just how much…. You are loved!
You would know!
Gods purpose for you….
I see him in you!
I see him in you when you can’t even see him in yourself….
I see him using you, in ways you cannot imagine….
He has his hands on you….
You feel it.. you feel it soo deep, you’re fighting!
Fighting to surrender….
Fighting to let go….
Fighting to ….?
Your heart… the one you are so desperately trying to drown out…
To numb from feeling…
To ignore it’s very beat!
Your heart… is made from Gods own love…
Your heart is made of Gold!
It’s you… he is using…
To mend the broken…
The broken souls,
Maybe it’s your heart filled with Gold!
#addiction #recovery #awareness #mindfulness #lettinggo #givingittogod #findingmypeace #faith #hope #mentalhealthawareness #stopstigma
#sfami #nami #aa #na #itsnevertoolate