Censorship

I can journal till I run out of words… but that does nothing, for me; if I can’t just Express my true: thoughts, feelings, emotions, & desires.

You’re the only person I have ever shared, all sides of myself with… I know you hold back… you are only comfortable sharing certain pieces of yourself with me…

Even when I feel & see you…

But I… I share all of my myself openly, freely with you…. Do you have any idea… how freeing & addictive that is?
I am safe, with you….
I don’t really know how to pull back. I don’t really know how not to share, so openly with you… I am honestly not sure, I want to learn!

I don’t want to censor myself around you!

I censor myself in every other aspect of my life! But never with you….
I need the release, the safety of your trust… I need to be able to purge & unload, without fear of judgement or doubt. Truth be told… I need you! Perhaps that’s simply, asking for too much…
I need you it seems, more than you need me…
You find comfort in others,
Sections of yourself shared with only those you feel, understand your pain…
The awareness I have of my actions…
The awareness I have of those watching,
The awareness I have of those waiting…
Watching to see if I practice what I preach…
Waiting to see if I fail or disappoint them.

Watching & Waiting… to say… I told you!

I struggle daily,
It’s an ongoing going battle deep within my soul… To do the right thing. To not make this about me… To see the greater need…
I don’t want to censor myself around you.
I don’t want to contemplate each interaction,
Each spoke or written word.
Each shared secret,
Each shared memory,

Each hidden desire.

I don’t know how to not….
Not, be…
Yours.
#momentsintime #memories #stuckinmyhead #frozenintime #jenzphelps #jenz #mirrorimages #phototherapy #embraceyourself #findingmypeace #lettinggo #givingittogod #rmdrakequotes #rmdrake #truth #censored #censorship #mindfulness #journaling

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