Heavily on my mind…

A CH-53E Super Stallion helicopter picks up an AV-8B Harrier engine to transport it from the amphibious assault ship USS Iwo Jima (LHD 7) to the fleet replenishment ship USNS Big Horn (T-AO-198) during a Helicopter Support Team mission as part of Combined Composite Training Unit Exercise (COMPTUEX).Photographer / Credit : Cpl. Jon Sosner

Woke up this morning and you were heavily on my mind. Sometimes I get a feeling of fear for you that settles over my heart.

Sometimes I get a fear for myself because I don’t know how I would handle if something actually happened to you.
I am scared of the pain & heartache that would consume me. Scared I would drown in it.
I know you are probably sick of me at this point; writing to you. I know I wish I didn’t feel soo compelled to reach you…
I wish sometimes, I could turn back time… Lock us away in that tent alone. I wish I could talk to you, have you open up back then. I wish…. I could have eased your pain.
You’re good you know at masking your hurt. I never once knew…. You just smiled so brightly; I could never see your pain.
Today is different… Different in that I can feel your pain at times, I see through you often; when you say… “I’m ok”… I see the sadness in your eyes, the heaviness that weighs down your heart. I hear how hard it is for you to breath… I see you… Even when you think I don’t.
I see you lost at times; fighting your way through. It seems like your in pure survival mode. I see you running…. running from yourself! I see you distracting yourself & trying so desperately to numb your pain.
When I was 13…. I wish someone had seen me…
I can’t fix your pain; I can’t take away your scars; I can’t undo all of lifes hurt!
But…..
I can love you!
I can try to understand, try to. Support you in healthy ways.
I see you…. I feel your presence even when you’re miles away…. I worry about you….
No amount of words, will resolve this. Only you can heal your wounds. I love you….

#addiction #recovery #awareness #mindfulness #stopthestigma #hurt #pain #love #lovehurts #sfami #supportingfamiliesofadultmentallyill #thestruggleisreal #nami #alanon #aa #na #addiction #addictionrecovery

Photo credits:

A CH-53E Super Stallion helicopter picks up an AV-8B Harrier engine to transport it from the amphibious assault ship USS Iwo Jima (LHD 7) to the fleet replenishment ship USNS Big Horn (T-AO-198) during a Helicopter Support Team mission as part of Combined Composite Training Unit Exercise (COMPTUEX).

Photographer / Credit : Cpl. Jon Sosner

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.