That is what is feels like some moments in the day…
This empty black hole of nothingness…. that seems to suck away at my soul….
I see glimmers of you…. and I start to feel again…. Do you understand?…
Feeling, a connection, a sense of belonging to someone, a place, a time in the universe!
For a second…. in that glimmer…. in that instance… I am no longer.. lost, into the Abyss….
For that second… that moment in time….
I belong…. to you!
I am home!
I am no longer wandering down that long lost road that nobody else choose to travel….
For that glimmer for a second… I felt at peace….
Then…. like the speed of light on a shutter flash of a camera….
It’s gone!
Back…. into the Abyss, I go….
Reality sets back in….
How…. did this, become… MY Life?
Funny thing … the number of thoughts that travel through one’s mind in a single day…
There isnt one day…. you dont enter into my mind…. I’d just like to know… how you are…
I fear one day… I will hear… You have finally gotten married or settled down and wrestled all your demons…. part of me… well be so happy for you… because I want nothing more in life than for you to find peace and love! God what I would not do to ensure that!!!
But then there is apart of me…. that will crumble to my very core…. I know this!
I want so desperately… to love again!!!
To love beyond you!!!!
Everytime…. I even come close… to breaking free…..
Something pulls me back… makes me question everything!
I get pulled back into the Abyss again!
Where…. the nothingness just grows
#jenz #jenzphelps #momentslikethese #lettinggo #healing #turningitovertogod #letgooftheworry #seekingbalance #seekingpeace #feedmysoul #emptyyourmind #findingmyjoy #thestruggleisreal #prespective #lovehurtssometimes #dontgetlostinthepain #intotheabyss
jenzphelps 