Into the Abyss

That is what is feels like some moments in the day…

This empty black hole of nothingness…. that seems to suck away at my soul….

I see glimmers of you…. and I start to feel again…. Do you understand?…

Feeling, a connection, a sense of belonging to someone, a place, a time in the universe!

For a second…. in that glimmer…. in that instance… I am no longer.. lost, into the Abyss….

For that second… that moment in time….

I belong…. to you!

I am home!

I am no longer wandering down that long lost road that nobody else choose to travel….

For that glimmer for a second… I felt at peace….

Then…. like the speed of light on a shutter flash of a camera….

It’s gone!

Back…. into the Abyss, I go….

Reality sets back in….

How…. did this, become… MY Life?

Funny thing … the number of thoughts that travel through one’s mind in a single day…

There isnt one day…. you dont enter into my mind…. I’d just like to know… how you are…

I fear one day… I will hear… You have finally gotten married or settled down and wrestled all your demons…. part of me… well be so happy for you… because I want nothing more in life than for you to find peace and love! God what I would not do to ensure that!!!

But then there is apart of me…. that will crumble to my very core…. I know this!

I want so desperately… to love again!!!

To love beyond you!!!!

Everytime…. I even come close… to breaking free…..

Something pulls me back… makes me question everything!

I get pulled back into the Abyss again!

Where…. the nothingness just grows

#jenz #jenzphelps #momentslikethese #lettinggo #healing #turningitovertogod #letgooftheworry #seekingbalance #seekingpeace #feedmysoul #emptyyourmind #findingmyjoy #thestruggleisreal #prespective #lovehurtssometimes #dontgetlostinthepain #intotheabyss

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