You are grown… I keep forgetting that!
In my mind, we are frozen in time.
16 again!
I find myself, so protective of you!
You know the risks…
Your life choices are on you.
I have tried… reaching out.
I have tried… just being your friend.
I have tried… to understand.
I fail… at reaching you.
I fail… at keeping my emotions in check.
I fail… at trying to not love you.
I don’t really understand, why I feel as strong as I do.
I pray about it…. daily!
God knows, I do!
I don’t like feeling this way!
Out of control…
Emotions on overload…
Simply, not being able to walk away!
I do this for a living, you know!
Tell people how to, walk away…
How to, love from afar!
How to, set healthy boundaries…
Yet, I see myself…
Being pulled, and stuck…
Frozen in time…
I know better!
I can clearly see,
All the mistakes,
All the missed opportunities,
All the second guessing,
All the lies,
All the clear signs, of active addiction!
Eventually,
I will thaw out….
I will slowly start, to move about…
I will free myself,
From this mental cage…
What then?
Where does this end?
I love you!
I truly do…
You will forever be, a piece of my heart…
I pray for you; I genuinely want the best for you…
Sometimes I think, you feel ashamed, so you try and stay away…
I am never, NEVER… going to think less of you!
I see you!
I have always seen you!
I knew you then,
I know you now!
I believe in you…
When you, can’t….
Soo, for now…
I stand still.
I listen.
I pray.
I turn it over to God, and I keep my Faith!
Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
When you’re ready…
I will be here!
Friends… till the end!
#awareness #recovery #addiction #addictionrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #sfami #thestruggleisreal #nami #healing #healthyboundaries #jenzphelps #jenz
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