What happens, when you don’t practice Self Care?

What happens, when you don’t practice Self Care?..

So… I am really great at asking for prayer for others; my dad, Summer Grace, ect….. I am great at advocating for my clients and making sure they do self care go to their doctor appointments and follow up visits…. as a mom I bend over backwards to ensure Summer gets to all her appointments when she had all her surgeries….

I failed to do that for myself… I was hospitalized several years ago after a bad spell of diverticulitis. I was told then I had a severe case of it and surgery was discussed. I was not a fan of surgery and my infection was too severe at the time to do surgery. I also did not like the talk of a colostomy bag, so that scared me into watching my diet for a few years and keeping things under as much control as possible. However being in my 20s…. not following up as I should with the follow up appointments has not helped things.

It landed me back in the hospital Friday with advanced diverticulitis and a perforated colon. I am very lucky I could have become septic and things could be so much worse. I am very aware! How lucky I am…. I got 6 rounds of IV antibiotics, I go back in 2 weeks for follow up and surgery once the infection is under control.

My CT scan also showed a mass on my right kidney. There is so much going on with my colon they aren’t focused on this right now.

I tell my clients all the time and family members of support groups… if you dont stop to take care of YOU… how can you give or care for the ones you love? We role model for our loved ones!

As I took off from being at the board of nursing this week to care for my dad, I did not hesitate because it was important. But we were talking in his room one day my dad and mom she was struggling with her guilt over not being at work. We talked about that… our strong work ethic, How my dad tried to get her to go home one night to sleep; and I would stay with him or he even said he would be fine. She refused to leave him. She laughed and reminded him that he was the man that never missed a day of work! Or how I would not leave them at the hospital, or how when things turned…. and I found myself admitted…on Friday…

I found myself struggling, I knew Wednesday night I should have gone to the ER, I waited till my physical appointment with my PCP on Thursday, I didn’t want to miss work on Thursday…. Then Friday… I struggled to get my CT scan… I didn’t want to miss a meeting for work… I left the office for the CT scan so I could make the meeting…. then went back to get the scan…..

Always focused on meeting… someone else’s need… I am not sure it is a selfless thing as much as it is maybe a; distraction! Sometimes there is a motivational factor in knowing someone is counting on you or needing you…. (my clients that was definitely the case when Summer was diagnosed with her AVM & mass and I was dealing with all those surgeries ect… it kept me going so often!)

A way of avoiding what we might not be ready to face, or address within ourselves, ourlives maybe…

But the thing is….

God….
Has this way….
Of eventually…. wearing you down!
And getting your attention.
You can’t avoid your fears!

You can ONLY
Face them!

Eventually…
I am going to get this self care stuff right 😉‼

My Faith….
Has already moved mountains…
Brought me through more obstacles in life than most people have encountered…..
I have never taken the easy path in life….
Stubborn…. that way…. slow learner!
But….
I do learn!
I do adapt!
I do rise above!
This….
Is just another life lesson….

A new chapter is about to begin!

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