Breaking down Walls

I am a creature of habit!

I trust so few… to let into my inner sanctum!

I finally am able to see myself kissing another man…. Do you know how hard that even was for me? After Everything I gave you?….

I don’t just randomly pick a guy to move on too… I dont just hop around! There has to be Substance! Intellect, interest, there has to be something more that the superficial flesh! Or material world!

I need to be challenged! I need to thrive! I need to feel alive! Wanted, needed, persued, desired, respected! Cared for….. valued!! There has to be a basic foundation of friendship!!! And interests…..

It takes more than shiny toys and flashing lights, more than fast talk and three letter texts…. Try full on sentences! Conversations, exchange of ideas! Having a real opinion on the world!

The sexiest triat a man has is his mind!

Wyd? Simply will not do!

How about take in a art show or two? Try a cultural event… A nature hike? Nothing fancy…. try being civic minded… thinking of someone other than yourself!

Try to be involved! Showing UP! For anything would be nice! Community engagement, volunteering, work, something!

Find your passion and live it!

Owning your TRUTHS!

Having grown up conversations… yeah, the real awkward kind even!

Being real!

Sometimes…. I think… how much easier life would be…. If we all just put it all out there like that!

It’s harder than it seems… easier to write than find someone that meets that list!

So yeah…

If…. I dare… move on… or let down that guard… after I denied so many before…. while I was so loyal…. and devoted to you!

I am growing!

I am changing!

I am getting stronger!

It takes a lot… a special kind of man….

For me… to trust!

To open up too!

it’s not a everyday thing you see!

I am NOT one of those girls!

I am not and have never been one of those girls!

I have never…. relied on, or needed a man!

I have never relied on or depended on a relationship!

So if I let you in….

If I dare let you inside my inner sanctum…..

Then I have given thought to this… I have assessed your risk! And I have placed trust within you…..

Know…. that was not!

A easy thing….. for me to ever do!!!

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